Uttanasana

I remember pre-husband and pre-new house in the boonies I was heavily into yoga. I loved yoga. My body needed yoga. I used to stay at work late 3 days a week so I could catch the early evening class. I remember breakthrough (uttanasana - standing forward bend) after breakthrough (chaturanga dandasana - four-limbed staff pose) after breakthrough (paschimottanasana - seated forward bend) each time I went to a class. I mainly practiced hatha yoga, which was the yoga of choice at my gym. But oh, the entrancing heat of bikram and the rhythmic flow of vinyasa which I indulged in from time to time. Heaven!

My regular attendance slowly gave way to the following, not in any particular order:

1. wanting to get home at a decent hour - class would be over by 8:30 which would get me home at 9:30
2. wanting to have dinner with wannabe dad
3. wanting to spend time with wannabe dad
4. wanting to sleep in with wannabe dad (hence skipping weekend a.m. class)
5. not being ready to switch to another gym 1/2 mile from my house
6. in other words, being chickenpoo
7. the new gym's yoga classes weren't at the "right time"
8. in other words, being chickenshit
9. being too tired (especially when I was pregnant)

After 2 years, today was my first class at the new gym. It was so amazing, and my body missed it. I remembered most of the poses and did some with modifications (vasisthasana - side plank, on one knee). But I'll be back in form, and my soft parts will be firm again. And I'm taking my ego out of it by not focusing on how long it's going to take to get back, or I'll jinx it and end up not going back. I look forward to experiencing my previous breakthroughs and getting to know some new ones. I hope that in the process of getting centered and finding my balance, my broken heart will begin to heal.