According to the rules, we had sex the day before the temp rise. Before that, it was four days before so I'm hoping there were some slow swimmers still hangin' out.
But we've had PTS before when trying to conceive last year, 2x in 6 months. I don't have my Chart of When We Conceived the Twins with me right now (it's in the girls' scrapbook), so I don't know if we had PTS (according to the rules). But during the first u/s when I thought I was 7 weeks along, the babies measured at 9 weeks (this leads me to believe that they were born at 22 weeks instead of 24; this turns itself over in my head day after day after day).
Is it possible to ovulate without a temp rise? Do we have to resort to daily sex?
We PTS this past August, during the 60 day cycle. So here's hoping that this time it works because this whole miracle of ovulation doesn't exactly happen like clockwork my body.
We're emotionally ready, so can it please happen NOW? Somebody send a memo to the guy upstairs.
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At long last, the Kaleo Poo Spot is open for business. Now if we could just get him to use it. He loves the cushy grass of our backyard lawn, so it will take some getting used to the little river pebbles under his paws.
If I could locate our digi-cam I would show you a picture of it. I should snap a picture of him in action. Just kidding.
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The banana tree has sprung another baby. The other one, sadly, is still hanging in there, the little green fingers stunted in growth due to the lack of luscious humidity that a banana tree craves.
The new blossom is bigger than the last, and as we are entering the cold season poor mama tree is not going to see her babies come to life to fatten our bellies. Such is the saga in our house.
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We are on the heels of the One Year Anniversary. One year since I was admitted to the hospital (11/8), since the girls were born (11/18), since the girls died (11/24). I am flustered as to how to commemorate the day/days. I don't know if I want people over. I'm open for suggestions. I'll make them little cupcakes for sure.
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I've been mulling over something.
Do my thoughts resonate with you because I lost twins and you did too? Do you find my thoughts helpful because you also suffer from i/c? Do you relate to me less because you lost boy-girl twins instead of two girls? Are we on the same page because we gave birth at 24 weeks or thereabouts?
I find that I am missing out on some feelings, so to speak, because I did not have a full-term pregnancy. I cannot relate to the uncomfortableness felt at 9 months along. I am so sad at what many in our grief community have experienced with a stillbirth, and I can't relate.
I haven't been diagnosed with infertility, so I even feel bad about bitching about my irregular cycles because many couples are going through the wringer.
Yet in the end our losses, no matter how early or late or why they happened, bring us together through wires and waves and satellites, and they define us and they're bigger than us, and we're just trying to make sense of what's left. And I love that I can share anything and everything and get a virtual hug and support. At least from my regular commenters (*hint* lurkers please let me know you're out there!).
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And I leave you with a Halloween 2007 picture, just a little bit late. We skipped it, opting to hide in the office until late in the evening. I just couldn't stand to see a cute baby in a cute costume, and there are lots of them in our neighborhood.
9 comments:
You ask if you can ovulate without a temperature rise? Yes, you can--or more exactly, the temperature rise is so small as to be unnoticeable. Sorry about that.
You're better off with sex on alternate days. Sperm live for at 48 hours; eggs for between 48-72. The window is small, but it's there. (As you'll see from my own blog, I'm a certified nurse-midwife0
I'll be hoping for you. First for a BFP and then for nine lovely months of pregnancy (ha). Why I relate to you? Well, I suppose prematurity is part of it, but also just the fact that we are two mothers, grieving.
My Natan wasn't a twin, but from what I've seen online, losing twins is in a, for lack of better words, special category. Two children at once, as well as the loss of that special membership as mom of twins. But other moms can speak better to that.
I'll be thinking of you. I hope you get some hopeful news before the girls' birthday.
It's the twin thing for me that helps me relate. Hoping for your BFP. ;)
Delurking, to say hi.
Reading your words really hits home because I also lost my twin girls at 24 weeks. So I can pretty much relate to everything you write. It just all feels familiar.
Thanks for visiting my blog and for your kind words too.
I don't know exactly why I relate. Our stories are fairly different, except, sadly, for the end result, of course. I think it's just that grief is grief, and dead babies are dead babies.
I wish you a BFP, stat. And don't feel bad about complaining about your cycles. It's no walk in the park, and is no less worthy of annoyance just because it can be even worse.
I think I've found that I can relate to a lot of women who have lost a baby, but perhaps a little more so with you because I lost my twin boys at 23 weeks. It comforts me to know that I am not alone in my experience because in my everyday real-life life, I am pretty alone.
My fingers are crossed for you, too.
Thanks for indulging my shameless plug for comments... It comforts me to know that I'm not alone, although it makes me sad that I'm not alone.
Grief is such a personal thing, that even I've been on many a blog and although I've felt similarly, I declined to comment because I didn't go through exactly what the person went through. But in the end. That's what I need to remember.
I think it is both things. I think everyone can't help but want to find that person who can really relate to their specific experience of loss, but then I think we are also part of a larger, all encompassing community of mothers who don't discriminate based on details and specifics.
I know that I always appreciate being able to share and relate to the "twin perspective" but that also doesn't mean that I find the loss of a singleton even remotely less significant.
I love the pumpkins!
The fact that you, like me, lost twins, makes me identify with you. But it's a little easier for me that they weren't boy/girl twins like mine. If someone's loss is too close to my own, it's a little harder on me.
But I sometimes do feel -- I dunno -- like I'm being unfair when I comment on blogs of people suffering from infertility, because I don't share that with them.
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