Thursday, April 24, 2008

Gravity

So overrated.

If it weren't for gravity, my cervix wouldn't have its ugly label of 'incompetent.'

My sciatic nerves wouldn't be taking the beating they are now.

These shoulders and neck wouldn't have to bear the sailor knots intricately woven in the muscle tissue.

Atrophied arms would enjoy some lightness of being.

Pounding headache would be a passing fancy.

Everything I do that has become a huge chore would be taken care of with a light tap.

Some calculations:
Number of days lying down (I counted these instead of sheep last night): 84
Number of days remaining (I am getting up at 36 weeks, dammit): 64
Pounds gained: 18
Percent of muscle lost: feels like 40%
Gallons of ice cream eaten: 1/2
Number of driving days: 0
Gallons of water consumed: 1890
Gallons of water flushed: 1892
Number of sleepless nights: 26
Baby's average heartbeat: 158 bpm
Height of belly wave action: 2-4 feet, glassy
Percent of wannabe dad's support provided: 1 million%
Number of names picked out: 1 first, 1 middle
Percent of time spent worrying: 60%
Number of things purchased for baby: 0
Happiness level today (0-not happy, 5-happy): 2, mostly due to the extreme muscle pains experienced this week

3 comments:

Julia said...

Oh, shit, you nailed it. That's what the problem is-- gravity, the bitch. If it wasn't for her, my pelvis wouldn't hurt so damn much with every move and while I sleep. Got it. Thanks for giving me the target to mutter at. :)

Excited for you to have picked the name. How cool. (We are sooooooo nowhere close...)

Bon said...

you went down right after the cerclage, yes? reading this is so much like looking about 55 days into my future...though i think i have you beat on the ice cream count already. :)

it's the headaches that are getting me. i always forget about the headaches.

but you are doing good, so good...kudos. hang in.

wannabe mom said...

julia - i feel for your achy pelvis. uggh! and some people are hounding me for the name, which we won't give up until he's born safely.

bon - yes, right after. i had headaches for the first three weeks, plus neck & shoulder knots - but minor to what i experienced this week. i wonder what pain will ail me next week.