The best sugar I get is when the cats come and visit me and curl up on my lap, or between my legs on the blanket. This however, makes me hold my pee which is not a good thing! But who can resist a sleepy kitty!?!?
I was definitely a sugar-holic as a kid. I never said no to desserts or anything sweet. And strangely, as an adult, before this week really, I scoffed at soda and fake chocolate (e.g. bunnies), cookies laced with trans fats plus sugar, and non-bran-ish cereal. But now, everything is fair game. Bring it on. I need to gain some weight here!
We'll see what the glucose tolerance test from yesterday tells me.
***
Happy Valentine's Day, and I use that word "happy" very loosely in this crowd. My V days are never the same, with my girls in the cold hard ground instead of cutting out crooked hearts to give to me.
This is what wannabe dad was in line for this morning, along with tonight's dinner ingredients, next to several hundred other guys. Hilarious! These are simple and still so beautiful.
In my state I simply slaved over some leftover scrapbook paper, pictures of the girls and furbabies (animal photos taken with my phone) and inkjetted on photo paper, glue sticked together and in my best dog and cats and twins handwriting (don't tell), wrote out "why I love you" letters to The Papa. Entitled "A Valentine's Day Love Story."
He loved it. Loved it. Loved it.
Tonight we tackle snapper, red potatoes, asparagus, chocolate covered strawberries, and tv. We don't even need any reservations. Clean underwear? Maaaybe, I could give him that much. But it won't be a thong.
***
What makes me sad these days is that I'm never going to know what Cerina and Nadia would have been like. I know they would have been cute as all get out, but would they befriend the new kids in school? Would they be nerds (preferred) or "popular"? Would they cheat in school, smoke in the dark hallways, or write mean things in their notebooks? I know that as parents we would be strict, making sure our kids mind their manners and mind other people, and teach them right from wrong. We will do this with our subsequent kids, but will never have the chance with our twins.
Shit, we had twins. Had.
2 comments:
I just succumbed to some sugar, in the form of the pastries from the guy doing my sister's wedding cake. They were yummy, but now I have a headache. I think a nap is in order. Also, I was craving carbs much more when I was pg with A than when I was with Monkey (or this time, for that matter). Make of that what you will.
The thing about not knowing-- that's a huge, central thing in my grief. It bugs me a lot that I don't know what color A's eyes would have been by now, or any of the bazillion other things I was so looking forward to knowing. Frozen in time-- so effing unfair. I am sorry you are in a similar place.
Hope you pass your glucose test. Let us know, ok?
pastries! a nap! two of my favorite things. i had a yummy nap today, and one kitty snuggled up next to chuck. so sweet.
the not knowing really does suck. there aren't many peruvian/filipino mixed kids out there so i can't even figure out 'a look', you know?
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