And so begins my new career as one half of a team of two entrepreneurs.
No fanfare, no party, no balloons, no decadent chocolate cake, no after-work celebration. At my request, of course. I was, however, treated to lunch three times last week which was really nice, and the department baker (whom I lovingly named "Sugah, Buttah, and Flowah") sent me away with vanilla bean cakes properly molded into ladybugs and butterflies. That was 10/4 and the past week has been busy getting to know the new office, working on office procedures, filing the accumulated pile, while contributing to that bottom line. Only now, that bottom line is very visible to me. (Why is it so low?)
I did, however, manage to squeeze in a creative moment of creating a quilt square for the Walk, which is tonight. Now when I say creating, that means printing out an image with our girls' names, the important dates, and loving words on a computer store-supplied iron-on transfer, rummaging through the closet for a swatch of fabric - I found a Hawaiian print fabric, taupe with red and black flowers - and ironing said transfer with image on the swatch. Which is difficult to do with three cats at my feet and a bone-chewing dog just outside the door. But I managed, and while the square is not craft guild-worthy, it's something.
And I cut it too small, but I'll provide an extra 10"x10" square so hopefully the kind soul who will assemble the quilt from all the parents in mourning will fashion some fix for my sad contribution once it's ready to be sewn to the others.
No fanfare, no party, no balloons, no decadent chocolate cake, no after-work celebration. At my request, of course. I was, however, treated to lunch three times last week which was really nice, and the department baker (whom I lovingly named "Sugah, Buttah, and Flowah") sent me away with vanilla bean cakes properly molded into ladybugs and butterflies. That was 10/4 and the past week has been busy getting to know the new office, working on office procedures, filing the accumulated pile, while contributing to that bottom line. Only now, that bottom line is very visible to me. (Why is it so low?)
I did, however, manage to squeeze in a creative moment of creating a quilt square for the Walk, which is tonight. Now when I say creating, that means printing out an image with our girls' names, the important dates, and loving words on a computer store-supplied iron-on transfer, rummaging through the closet for a swatch of fabric - I found a Hawaiian print fabric, taupe with red and black flowers - and ironing said transfer with image on the swatch. Which is difficult to do with three cats at my feet and a bone-chewing dog just outside the door. But I managed, and while the square is not craft guild-worthy, it's something.
And I cut it too small, but I'll provide an extra 10"x10" square so hopefully the kind soul who will assemble the quilt from all the parents in mourning will fashion some fix for my sad contribution once it's ready to be sewn to the others.
I don't know what to expect tonight. The counselor from our support group asked us to be there a half hour early to help set up, and could we please bring some cookies. It might be helpful to be a part of the set-up crew, I don't know.
What I do know is that we are about a month away from Cerina and Nadia's 1 year birthday and 1 year death day. The week of the 18th to 24th of November I'm pretty sure will be funky for me, and even before that starting on the 8th, which was the day I was admitted to the hospital last year after seeing my OB so she could check out the tiny amount of bleeding I was experiencing. Not even an eighth of a teaspoon amount since it began three days prior, yet my cvx decided she should open and let a tiny amount of Cerina's bag bulge through.
Not now. I have a meeting in 1.2 seconds.
In the meantime, if anyone knows where I can get just one more of this decadent candy (besides France), do tell. Just one.
What I do know is that we are about a month away from Cerina and Nadia's 1 year birthday and 1 year death day. The week of the 18th to 24th of November I'm pretty sure will be funky for me, and even before that starting on the 8th, which was the day I was admitted to the hospital last year after seeing my OB so she could check out the tiny amount of bleeding I was experiencing. Not even an eighth of a teaspoon amount since it began three days prior, yet my cvx decided she should open and let a tiny amount of Cerina's bag bulge through.
Not now. I have a meeting in 1.2 seconds.
In the meantime, if anyone knows where I can get just one more of this decadent candy (besides France), do tell. Just one.
2 comments:
It took 5 days for this to show up on my reader. Argh.
I hope the first week has gone well! So exciting. You're a brave brave woman!
I know the coming weeks will be so hard for you. I'll be thinking of you and checking on you, manually apparently since the reader sucks.
Are you willing to tell us about the walk? Did you find it therapeutic, moving at all? Ours is a week from tomorrow and I'm sad we won't be there.
Many good loving thoughts to you as the anniversaries approach.
oh gosh! i started this post a few days ago and didn't change the date when i finally posted it. it's not you, beruriah, it's me. i think you can still count on your reader. ;) thank you for your kind thoughts, and the same to you as natan's anniversary approaches.
i will post about the walk sometime this weekend, when i can wrap my head around why i was a bit disappointed in it. i think i was expecting some grandiose crying festival. my thinking lately has been so strange and admittedly, selfish.
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